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#1 OFFLINE   Saikatana

Saikatana

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Posted Jul. 02 2017 - 06:36 PM

A father asks his ten-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know," says Johnny, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asks Johnny what is wrong.
"Oh Daddy," Johnny sobs. "At age six I got the "there's no Santa" speech. At age seven I got the "there's no Easter bunny" speech. Then at age eight you hit me with the "there's no tooth fairy" speech. If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really screw, I've got nothing left to live for."

 

 

How do you know when people don't understand a joke?...............................................They try to make her President. 

 

 

A classroom, in the year 3055 ..........

Professor: Who was the shittiest U.S. President so far?

Student: Barack Obama.

Professor: Correct. Now, can you tell us how he rose to power?

Student: Yes, Many of our ancestors were morons.

 

 

 

 

 

A team of archeologists is excavating in Israel when they find a cave with the symbols of a woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David on the wall.

The head archeologist points to the first drawing. "This indicates that these people were family oriented and held women in high esteem." he says. "The donkey shows they were smart enough to use animals to till the soil. The shovel means they were able to forge tools. Even further proof of high intelligence is the fish: If famine hit the earth, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol is the Star of David, telling us they were Hebrews."

The second archeologist shakes his head. "Sorry, Doc. You've got it wrong. Hebrew is read from right to left," he explains. "It really says, 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'"
 


 


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#2 OFFLINE   NONEYA

NONEYA

    Damn Business


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Posted Jul. 02 2017 - 08:57 PM

:ROFLLMAO:




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Isn't that one of the seven signs of the coming apocolypse? Plagues, famine, Noneya buys a gun...

Pepper

#3 ONLINE   devil duck

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Posted Jul. 02 2017 - 09:31 PM

Lmao, that some funny stuff right there.


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Sometimes lady luck just bends you over and calls you Sally
                                                                                                                                                                         
I came into this world with nothing, I still have most of it left.

Some people are like Slinkys. Pretty much useless but still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

There is no right way to do something wrong.

Everyone brings joy to your life. Some when they come into it, others when they leave.

I WILL NOT COMPLY

#4 ONLINE   towtruck

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Posted Jul. 02 2017 - 10:28 PM

:yukyuk:




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sv3kXof.jpg
 
 
In the words of my grandfather...
"Beauty is only skin deep- ugly goes clear to the bone!"
"You can't fix stupid"
"Sometimes fishing is better than catching"
"There is no sense being stupid unless you show it"
"Guns and fishing poles----you can never have enough!"
"When it comes to your wife and buying more guns it is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission!"
"If you fly it, float it, or ***k it, RENT it!"
 
 


#5 OFFLINE   alpo

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Posted Jul. 17 2017 - 06:16 PM

:hysterical3:




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NRA LIFE MEMBER

 

 

 

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#6 OFFLINE   Rico 05R

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Posted Jul. 17 2017 - 09:14 PM

:bellylaf: :bellylaf: :bellylaf:




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I Am The Shadow That Calls To Your Soul 

 





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