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badwrench5150

Life's A Hurricane

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I haven't Made a post since about 2018 or so.  And this may run Long.  As many senior members may recall, My Son, Ashton, competed in International Air Rifle and Smalbore. In Many trips over thousands of miles in competition, Training, and Range Practices, we made great strides towards becoming a college athlete.  In November 2018, we suddenly lost his Mother. She developed a pulmonary embolism and passed in surgery. This event turned his mind inside out. He couldn't grieve and everything escalated into anger. I tried for months to get him to go to counseling or get help with his emotions and grief. Being the person he was at 17, he refused to admit he needed help. Both him and I couldn't even have a conversation without rage and anger showing up. I gave him space as much as I could, to avoid the fights. He saw the space as abandonment. After I called in Crisis Intervention after one of his rage and destruction fits, He said I betrayed him. I only wanted him to grieve and get help. After one of his rage events which he destroyed his room, I asked him to move out of the house. He had a good job, started to make friends, even with trust issues, and a year later things started to get a little better between us. At least he didn't scream and cuss me so much. He would come over and work on his car at the house and I would hang out and listen to his plans for the car, (POS BMW with major reliability flaws). Every time it would break down or have issues on his way home from work, usually at 2am, he would call me and yell at me. Like It was my fault he had to drive this POS. His older sister, wanting to help him, went and helped him finance a new motorcycle in November 2020. After only 4 days, He was killed in a crash coming home from work at 2am. No witnesses, and no way to tell why he laid it down, his head hit a traffic control curbing killing him. I have struggled for the past 6 months to make sense of this.  I miss him dearly. 

 

Many member here helped us raise the money for his first Junior Olympic Trip, and this forum helped him reach one of his life's dreams. Thanks to all of you. 

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One day we will find out the reason things happen the way they do. It still stings thinking about losing my little brother 8 years ago in a motorcycle crash. He was about to head down a dark path before he left us. He was dealing with some PTSD demons from his tours in Iraq. I take solice in the idea that the Good Lord took him home before he turned down that dark path. Hopefully you can too. My deepest condolences my friend. Prayers inbound brother.

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My condolences. Don't know what else to say.

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My condolences as well. Sometimes we just can’t reason things and that’s alright. We can’t always make sense of it all and that’s just the way it is. We can’t control others no matter how we try and we can’t ask all of the what if’s. That thinking reflects our perception of reality, not always what it really was. There’s too many unknowns.
You have to be a tough gentleman to get through all of that. Although I can’t imagine being in your shoes, I know the only course of action is to keep trying to enjoy what I love and work through my grief.
You sound like a good dad and a good man.
This too shall pass. We are all here to listen should you ever want to talk about anything. Music, nature, and time in my faith usually help me.


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Prayers are going out to you and your family. My deepest condolences.

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Posted (edited)

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine the grief you must be going through losing a son.  I pray that God may ease your pain, and give you peace.  

 

Amen  

Edited by Qweevox

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Life is so precious, and so fragile. 

My prayers go out for your son, and to your entire family. 

 

John

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Such a tragedy. PM me if you want to vent or just talk about anything.

We're here for you brother. 
 

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My thoughts and prayers for you and the family. Tragedy rears its ugly head and we all pay a price one way or another. Unfortunately this one was about as big a price as it comes.

 

Greg

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My deepest sympathies to your family, friends and all who loved your wife and son. 

 

Praying for you and your daughter to get thru these difficult times. 
 

As said above - we are all here for you. 
 

 

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I couldn’t begin to fathom what u r going through. I pray that you will find peace knowing your wife and son are together and that you and your daughter will somehow find peace and comfort dealing with these tragedies. As said above, anytime u wanna talk we r here brother!

Sean


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May peace be with you and those others affected..

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Sorry to hear may the lord give you peace and comfort. Praying for you brother hang in there

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I've thought about this post all day. My oldest is out in the Permian Basin; he was married last July. I would be absolutely devastated if he or if any of his brothers and sisters were killed. But I have faith in God, so I rely on that, knowing that should that happen, they'd be in a better place.  

 

I truly believe that. Whatever this place is, it's transient. None of us get out of here alive. Whether it ends at conception or lasts 125 years, our lives are a blink of the eye in the scheme of things. I don't know why things happen the way they do. A lot of what happens in this world makes no sense to me. But I know this place in space and time is not everything. That's where faith steps in.

 

What you and your family are going through is so much worse than what your son is experiencing right now. 

 

I know everything I've just written won't assuage the pain you are feeling, but I hope it gives you hope. 

  

 

 

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My condolences to you and your family over these tragic loses.

May God's Grace and Peace tend to your needs at this trying times.

I remember Ashton competing and your adventurous trip (if you want to call it that).

Was more than happy to help back then, so let me know if there is anything I can do for you now.

 

Glenn

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