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I am at wits end


grayghost1785
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Well here goes a little rant. about 10minutes ago I had just had a all out brawl with my 20yr old brother. some of you who know me here know that I work in Law enforcement/Security so I have alot of tools of the trade around my room. well tonight my brother felt the need to help himself to ammo and some "tools" and sneek out of the house with them to sell to his scumbag buddies, well my mom seen that he was being shady and told him to empty his pockets. he didnt do it he ran back to his room and wouldnt empty his pockets for me so when I reached in to his coat i found a bag with my cuffs 2 5.11 knives a 16inch expandable and 30 12ga shells. then it was on he started to swing at me and went into a rage so I dove on top of him and restrained him until i got all of my stuff off of him and he stopped trying to hit me Now was I in the wrong my mom told me to leave like it was my fault and I did something wrong.. my brother was locked up from 14 to 17 for dumb shat he did and I fallowed the other path and got into LE work I'm 24 and I am helping my mother run the household since her and my dad split in October, my brother is 20 on SSI smokes pot like its his job and has stolen stuff from everyone but my mom. am I the bad guy I just cant take it any more but I help my mom with the bills and I dont feel right packing up and getting out but I feel like she is leaving me with no choice but to because of he always telling me to get out when my brother is the F up. well im done with this huge run on sentence. I just need some wise advice.

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First, your mother is enabling your brother. She needs to throw him out. Since that is not liely to happen, you need to get out and get on with your life.

 

You cannot change other people. You need to live your life.

 

Move out. You can always still help your mother, but you need your own place.

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You did not do the wrong thing. You probably showed too much restraint.

 

Your brother is probably a psychopath (aka, anti-social personality) and/or a drug addict.

 

You may want to give your mom a copy of the book Without Conscience by Robert Hare.

 

On what diagnosis are his SSI benefits based?

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You did not do the wrong thing. You probably showed too much restraint.

 

Your brother is probably a psychopath (aka, anti-social personality) and/or a drug addict.

 

You may want to give your mom a copy of the book Without Conscience by Robert Hare.

 

On what diagnosis are his SSI benefits based?

 

hes bi polar with ADD and some other crap..

all this kid does is smoke pot and get drunk. but im always the bad guy. I was out of town last week on some business and my moms exact words where he was fine untill YOU came home.like WTF I give my mom 500 bux a month to help here out because she cant find a job right now due to the way of the world but thats ok I love my mom and my little sister and want to help but this shat with my brother is just FUBAR

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First, your mother is enabling your brother. She needs to throw him out. Since that is not liely to happen, you need to get out and get on with your life.

 

You cannot change other people. You need to live your life.

 

Move out. You can always still help your mother, but you need your own place.

 

 

Amen.........

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I agree with the rest. YOU need to move on.

 

My mom also caves into whatever my brother wants, even though he only visits when he wants something. When he starts a family fued, I'm the one expected to roll over and play dead to 'keep the family' together. This year, I said NO! Either he grows up (he is only 49???) or too bad. It's tough, but sometimes you have to hold your ground.

 

Good Luck, Stay Strong. Vent here anytime you need, that's what were for. We are like family, except you can close the web page......

 

Roger

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Sounds like to me you have a big case of the "Poor Little" going on. That's what call a parent that looks at one son always feeling sorry for them going "Poor Little" so and so and no matter what you do or how well you succeed in life, they'll always be the helpless favorite even if Charlie Manson is their hero.

 

Hey I wish I could give you sage advice but I've lived it all my life myself. No matter what you do to straighten your brother out, you'll always be the bad guy for you will never be the "Poor Little" even if you did, they were first.

 

I've accepted it as my lot in life and all we can do is get the hell away from it so at least the doses are a little bit at a time instead of in your face every day.

 

Tj

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its funny how my little sis is the total opposite of my brother shes a strait A student she ranked #2 in her freshman class in Highschool, shes #1 in her jrotc class and the first freshman S4 in the schools jrotc programs 28 year history and by the begining of her junior year she has been told that she will most likely be the first ever battalion commander thats a junior. and she has the goal of going to Annapolis for college. and then you have my brother the douche bag. who almost cost me my Dept of Homeland security clearance because he had a record.

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Looks like you need to leave. Either that or scare the excrement out of him bad enough that he will leave. She would just let him back in anyway, so I guess you need to part ways.

 

PS she is probably giving some of your money to the looser so don't feel too bad if you need to cut off your support. The bad part is your sister is still in the middle of all the crap.

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Get out. Get out now. Find your own place, and visit often. Give money to your mom still, if you can afford it, but get out.

 

You cannot control other people's actions. You can only control your reaction to it. Your brother has demonstrated antisocial behavior, literally stealing from his own family. Getting into LE, you don't want to be involved in that environment, including the drug usage. Your mother may be a great person, but she is enabling his behavior. Find a new place to live, remove yourself from the situation. With you removed, he'll steal her blind, and she'll eventually realize how much he's taken advantage of her.

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im not a police officer i am a Corrections officer/ contractor for DHS. and it wasnt illegal I had probable cause

close enough... what was your "probable cause".... he didn't want to show you or your mom the contents of his pockets? last I checked, that's not probable cause.

 

Well here goes a little rant. about 10minutes ago I had just had a all out brawl with my 20yr old brother. some of you who know me here know that I work in Law enforcement/Security so I have alot of tools of the trade around my room. well tonight my brother felt the need to help himself to ammo and some "tools" and sneek out of the house with them to sell to his scumbag buddies, well my mom seen that he was being shady and told him to empty his pockets. he didnt do it he ran back to his room and wouldnt empty his pockets for me so when I reached in to his coat i found a bag with my cuffs 2 5.11 knives a 16inch expandable and 30 12ga shells. then it was on he started to swing at me and went into a rage so I dove on top of him and restrained him until i got all of my stuff off of him and he stopped trying to hit me Now was I in the wrong my mom told me to leave like it was my fault and I did something wrong.. my brother was locked up from 14 to 17 for dumb shat he did and I fallowed the other path and got into LE work I'm 24 and I am helping my mother run the household since her and my dad split in October, my brother is 20 on SSI smokes pot like its his job and has stolen stuff from everyone but my mom. am I the bad guy I just cant take it any more but I help my mom with the bills and I dont feel right packing up and getting out but I feel like she is leaving me with no choice but to because of he always telling me to get out when my brother is the F up. well im done with this huge run on sentence. I just need some wise advice.

 

Probable cause???? WTH?

Edited by Energizer
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so being a police officer, you admit to doing an illegal search on your bro.............

 

You're kidding, right? Yeah, let's let the sociopathic drug using dirtball keep knives, ammunition, and baton that the OP needs for his work.

 

Gimme a break, the brother isn't being prosecuted, the OP was merely getting his stuff back.

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